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Wednesday, August 22, 2018

"I'm Fine"...NOT

Do you ever get to the point where you just feel like you're completely in a funk and you don't know what to do about it? I feel like I have been that way for a little while now. It's a complete roller coaster. I'll be completely fine and then all of a sudden I'm back in my funk. I think part of the problem is that all I do is overthink things. As I've gotten older, it just gets worse and worse. I know people say that I should talk to a counselor, however, I've tried two or three of them and it really hasn't helped at all. I'm not at the point where I am ready to try again.

What do you do though when your funk is being noticed by your boyfriend and you don't really want to talk about it, but you also don't want to lie to him and tell him everything is alright? My go to is just saying "I'm fine." I'm well aware that it doesn't always help and that I should just be upfront with him, however, I feel like I need to figure it out on my own.

I'm just so tired of feeling this way in general. I'm tried of being stuck in my brain and I'm tired of feeling like I just want to ball my eyes out. I just want to feel normal, whatever that means. I want to be out of this funk and enjoy my relationship and not analyze every little thing.

I feel like I'm going through life by just doing the motions sometimes. I'm really good at faking how I'm feeling and that everything is alright. Some people are able to tell right away, like my best friend Katie and apparently Rob, but I'd rather hide it than actually have to talk about it. If I can't explain why to myself, how on earth am I supposed to explain it to someone else.

Anyone out there have any advice? It would be greatly appreciated!

Tuesday, May 29, 2018

If You're Happy and You Know It Clap Your Hands

I’ve decided to take a writing challenge, hopefully I can stick to it, and today’s topic is 10 things that make me happy.

Before I get into my list, here is a disclaimer…my friends, family and boyfriend make me extremely happy and being able to spend time with them is one of the things I treasure most. However, in this list I tried to think outside of the box and come up with more specific things.

1. Watching snow fall on the ground. There is nothing as peaceful as sitting on a couch or standing by a window and watching snow fall. You feel like you are in a snow globe. The world around you just disappears. Your worries, fears, and stress are gone. You are just mesmerized. Everything in that moment is perfect.

2. Christmas. This has to be by far been my favorite holiday. There are points where I feel like I enjoy it more than my birthday. There is nothing like the magic of the season. Shopping for loved ones, baking cookies, decorations, having dinner parties, doing our annual trip to the city, visiting Santa and of course the Christmas movies. Plus, I love the Christmas story. It just touches my heart every time I hear it. No other season has magic like Christmas. I have already started my countdown until Christmas is here.

3. Cuddling with my boyfriend. I love my boyfriend with all my heart. He is the most incredible, patient, amazing person I know. I love being able to spend any time I can with him. One of my favorite things to do though is to just cuddle with him. Whether we are watching baseball on the couch, watching a tv series or just laying around, there is no place I would rather be. When I am in his arms everything is okay. There’s nothing that can hurt me. All the anxiety and worries are gone. I can relax knowing that I’m safe and with someone who loves me. For me those points are some of the happiest I feel during the week.

4. Coloring. I’m in love with the giant coloring pages that Crayola has come out with. I have about 4 books at home. Not only is it relaxing but you also allows you to be creative. Plus, you are so focused on what you are doing you can zone out and just relax. I could color all the time if I had the option.

5. Playing with puppies. Who doesn’t love playing with puppies? They are cute, cuddly, and adorable. I don’t have a dog at home so when I need my fix usually I go two doors down to my aunt’s house and play with her dogs, or I go to Petland. You can play with as many puppies as you want. I usually come away with wanting all of them and sending pictures asking if we can get one. The answer is always no…

6. Cuddling on the sofa with my mom. No matter how old you are, you will always need your mom. Sometimes the best thing is to just lay on the couch cuddle with her and not even talk. Moms usually make everything better and even if you don’t talk it’s just a relaxing time.

7. Family game nights. We rarely do this but at points we will play bananagrams or Uno as a family. There are so many laughs and memories made. It’s some of the best times.

8. Giving gifts to people and seeing their reaction. I love to buy/make people gifts and see their reaction. I love seeing their enjoyment and excitement when they receive something special or something that they want.

9. My birthday. Who doesn’t love their birthday?! It’s the one day a year, unless your me and it lasts a month, where it is all about you. No matter how old I get I will always be excited to celebrate my birthday.

10. Walt Disney World. All I can say is it’s the most magical place on earth! Where else can you go to act like a kid and relive all the magic Disney created? If I could I would be at Disney all the time or even live at Disney on Main Street USA. A part of me will always be a child at heart, and never outgrow Disney .

These are the 10 things that make me really happy. I could go on, but I figured I would follow the rules and only list 10. What are some things that make you really happy?